The British are coming! The British are coming! American Idol 6 has brought the British Invasion back over The Pond. They dredged up Peter Noone of Herman’s Hermits and Lulu of “To Sir with Love” fame to help deliver advice and assistance to our top eleven finalists.

For those of you who don’t know, or in the case of American Idol’s core audience, are too young to know, the British Invasion is a musical movement beginning in 1964 with the arrival of the Beatles in the United States and included acts like Lulu, Herman’s Hermits, Dusty Springfield, The Who, The Rolling Stones and The Kinks. Later “invasions” brought punk, New Wave and popular acts such as Siousxie & the Banshees, Billy Idol, Duran Duran, The Smiths and Depeche Mode to our shores.

But enough of history, right? Let’s get to the episode.

Tonight, we had eleven performances. About six of them were pretty good. The standouts included Jordin Sparks who did a Shirley Bassey song called “I Who Have Nothing.” She was dramatic and diva-esque and Blake Lewis. His rendition of “Time of the Season” by The Zombies was current, contemporary and cool. Paula thought he could release it as a hit off his CD, and, for once, I agree with her.

Straight Up!

Melinda did well, of course. Randy called her the “best vocal of the night.” I’m not sure I agree, but it was good. Chris Sligh will skate by. He’s got personality. At least, he was better than last week. Stephanie Edwards performed my one of my favorite songs, Dusty Springfield’s “You Don’t Have To Say You Love Me.” She did a good job, not great. She should make it through on her Beyonce-like vocals and smooth stylings.

Lakisha had a rough night. She also tackled a Shirley Bassey song. This one was “Diamonds Are Forever” from the James Bond flick of the same name. I do admit that she was smart ‘cuz the peeps at AI hooked her up with some serious bling-bling to go along with the number, but…her performance was off.

I love me some Kiki, but Simon had it on point when he called the performance “old.” It was something I could see my grandparents enjoying in-between reruns of The Lawrence Welk Show. Not good, girl! Where was the “Yo Factor”?

Of course, I think and hope that Lakisha doesn’t wind up in the bottom three. She doesn’t really deserve to be there anyway.

Chris Richardson doesn’t either. His performance was aiight although the judges loved it. I guess they heard something I didn’t. The acoustic version of Gerry & The Pacemakers’ “Don’t Let the Sun Catch You Crying” reminded me of that really odd Snickers commercial in which one guy croons to another about “waterfalls of caramel” while he’s eating his candy. It was weird and somehow very, very wrong.

Gina Glocksen, Sanjaya Malakar, Phil Stacy and Haley Scarnato could be fighting it out for the bottom three. Gina’s “Paint it Black” was screechy. Sanjaya doing the Kinks really “got me” pissed off. He screamed and sucked his way through another performance, but…

it was better than he’s been…so, I’m sure Howard Stern viewers and a bunch of twelve year olds like the girl crying in the audience will vote for him.

Phil Stacey will probably go home. “Tobacco Road” – what the hell was he thinking? The song was not good. Choice – bad. Performance – not so good. And, does anyone else think his head needs hair on it? Phil is an attractive dude, but thinning hair – or a receding hairline – would work better than the bald ‘do. He’s not rocking it. Frankly, I found it distracting.

Please, Phil, put the hat back on!

Finally, Haley Scarnato’s “Tell Him” was passable. Her breasts, however, were stellar and might keep her in this week. Luckily, someone duct-taped them pretty well in there. Simon had it right when he told her that perhaps her singing would be the last thing people would notice about her performance. My husband certainly can attest to that.

So, there you have it. A recap and predictions for American Idol’s British Invasion Week. The bottom three will include some version of Phil, Gina, Haley and Sanjaya. Phil will probably go home, but Sanjaya should.

Disagree with me? Great! I’d love for you to share your opinions below.