Due to the writer’s strike, we Americans are searching for anything new, fresh and potentially interesting. (We miss you, writers and hope y’all come back to work soon!) We have been awaiting American Idol. Unfortunately, what the popular reality TV singing competition brought us was more of the same.

With stops in Dallas and Philadelphia, we got to see some of the worst auditions in history. The judges made fun of the contestants. The contestants made fun of the process. Sure, there were rare good ones like Kady Malloy. The pretty 18 year old from Houston did a spot-on vocal impression of Britney Spears. Then, she wowed Simon with a lovely rendition of “Unchained Melody” causing the ascerbic Brit to call her the ‘best we’ve seen so far.’ Chris Watson, who performed Uncle Kracker’s “Follow Me” was also a standout. Both of these people are going to Hollywood as they should be.

Unfortunately, there were more of the crazy ones like Ben Haar. Dressed in a Princess Leia bikini, the hairy-chested and overweight gent underwent manscaping for the opportunity to sing the Pussycat Dolls’ “Don-Cha” in front of the judges.

This is an AI truism – Whenever anyone sings a PCD song, they are not going to be a serious contender for the title of American Idol.

We admit that two hours of this stuff on Tuesday got us down. That and the sob stories. Poor Tempest. The 16 year old football player with the sick mama didn’t get her golden ticket. It just about broke our hearts. At least, Angela with the sick little girl did…and the Janis Joplin wannabe who survived a major car accident.

Then, of course, there was the questionable Kyle Ensler. Why did he get his golden ticket? His singing was mediocre at best and his look was geekier than Clay Aiken’s original Idol audition.

We admit that we don’t understand why so much mediocrity went through to Hollywood and wonder if we’ve tapped out our musical talent in this country in just seven seasons. Could it be possible?

Finally, there was Renaldo Lapuz, a 44 year old with the fashion sense of Liberace. He was touted as the ‘audition that was seven years in the making.’ C’mon now. He wasn’t as bad as all that. We still are singing his song in our heads like a nightmare that just won’t go away.

No wonder why ratings are down, people! We want competition, not embarrassment. C’mon, AI – surprise us, don’t annoy, emotionally manipulate and upset us. Am we going to have to switch channels until you get to H-wood? We’re thinking about it!

What do you think about the AI premieres? Were they worth the wait?

To torture you, check out this clip of Renaldo Lapuz and his infectious song, “You Are My Brother,” which he dedicated to Simon Cowell: