We realize that VH-1 takes a different tack with its competitions. However, we just don’t find it flattering. We are not ones to stick up for models. We’ve been known to throw down a few model jokes from time to time, especially during that time of the month when we feel extra-snarky. However, we don’t find it fair to subject these people to this kind of torture.

This week they had to face every fifth grader’s worst nightmare – a science fair project. Eek! Andre, the Russian, and Rachael, the Aussie, never had to do one of these things. That proves that the rest of the world is definitely ahead in educating its youth. Regardless, the models were split up into teams of two. Each team presented a different scientific concept. Daniel and Angela won for their solar house explanation, but Pickel and Brett came close with a comedic rendition of an argument between Einstein and Newton.

How educational!

The edge Daniel and Angela got for the next competition was that their ‘nerd’ would get a professional spray-on tan. The rest of the groups had to make a tanning lotion for their pale-faced nerdy models. Each ‘model’ had been playing World of Warcraft (WOW) for about a month…like our husbands, but we’re not complaining. It’s given us plenty of time to catch up on reality TV.

Regardless, the rest of the teams had no clue how to make tanning lotion out of cocoa powder, oil and the other products they were given. Big surprise, right? Pickel and Brett’s girl looked like she had cake thrown on her. Of course, she smelled like cake so it’s all good. Lisa and Rachel Myers threw their hairy nerd in the pool, after shaving him. His ‘tan’ looked reminiscent of vitiligo, a discoloring skin disorder. Sexy!

In the end, Andre and Rachael won the competition and the immediate call back. They made their nerd look kinda normal. Andre said it was because he’s a genius and a Soviet. Naturally. Jesse was thrown to the wolves by his partner, VJ. Instead of sticking up for himself, Jesse took Mary Alice’s abuse and let her clip him without so much as a whimper.