Bret Michaels spends six to nine months out of every year on the road, y’all. The man rocks hard with his band and solo. That means he needs a lady who can handle the unique challenges that come with traveling on a tour bus. This week, he made the final girls, whom he has dubbed “The Magnificent Seven”, perform challenges that are related to the road. Jes and Magdalena had to pack in a hurry. Then, Magdalena and Sam got dressed real slutty in a port-a-potty. Next up, Lacey and Sam had to dig through a dumpster to find Bret’s guitar pick. Ick!

After that, Heather and Mia were supposed to get his guitar and amp wired for sound. Too bad they forgot that you need to plug the electric gear in for it to work. D’oh! Mia then forgot the lyrics to “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” against Brandi M, setting up a showdown between Brandi M and Sam.

The two ladies hit a groupie, obstacle course, to make it to a single date with their man. The winner was Brandi M. She got the VIP treatment at a hockey game. Bret said it was a great date because Brandi is the type of gal who can change your tire and is still cute enough to have sex with. He calls that a win-win situation. Don’t we all?

Meanwhile, back at the house, the ladies held a birthday party for Bret that was off the hook. Sam showed off some sexy, stripper moves for Bret. He was totally feeling it. Of course, Lacey and Heather, the evil alliance, have targeted Sam for removal. They hugged and kissed Bret to make Sam jealous.

It worked. Sam stormed off in a huff. At one point, she had Bret concerned for her mental health. Things got even worse when Bret, whilst out on his date with Brandi, asked the ladies to write out a list of negatives about each of the remaining girls as if that wasn’t going to create any drama.

Lacey was quick to put everyone else down, but got upset when the girls aired their opinions of her. It seems others don’t think she’s sincere. Awww, poor girl.

In the end, Bret got rid of the pretty Polish girl, Magdalena, because he didn’t sense passion from her. Next week, we’ll see what he has in store for “The Sexy Six.”

(We don’t even wanna know what he’s gonna call ‘em when it gets down to five, okay?)